This is a small selection of emails we received in the days following Julia's Death on 1 June 2003. Your e-mail was forwarded to my work address and I thought I should reply straight away to thank you for being kind enough to let me know. This is a terrible time for you and I very much appreciate your time and effort. Please accept my sincere condolences. I met Julia when I lived in Earl's Court Square and was a regular customer in the Troubadour. It seems so long ago that I'm not quite sure when, but it was probably about 1993 or 1994. At that time, and for a few years after, we didn't know each other well being merely "mates" amongst the great Troubie crowd. I was always a little in awe of just how very beautiful your sister was and the fact that she was one of the few where the beauty didn't stop as you delved deeper. We became closer and much firmer friends when I worked in the Troubie from 1996-1998 and met up often once I stopped working there. I moved back to my hometown Stirling in Scotland in November 2000 and I am so pleased now that Julia and I both found the time to meet up for dinner shortly before I left London. I was so happy for her because I remember her struggling so much when she worked at the Troubie as she developed her promising photography career and this all seemed to have come good. She showed me her sparkly new Land Rover with an infectious and childlike enthusiasm and I was joyful she had started to reward herself with some of the things she always wished for. We kept in touch by e-mail when I returned and I always waited for her to visit; before she told me how ill she'd become. Marcus, I hope that at some point in the future it may be some comfort for you to know that I loved Julia very much. She was a very lovely person, through and through. Sometimes I was aware I was a little in love with her, such was the magnetism of her personality. You are right that Julia had an amazing capacity to make friends, I regarded her as one of my very special ones and my memories of her won't fade despite her no longer being here to share them with and giggle; as she often did! I once took her for a very expensive meal at which cost a further A340 to send a taxi to collect her mobile phone from the restaurant where she'd left it. That's exactly the sort of thing that would annoy me, but Julia couldn't stop laughing and I saw the funny side quicker than I usually do. Such is the affect Julia had on me and, I suspect, most others too. Julia told me many, many times of her love for you and she demonstrated it by how often she spoke of you. I hope to be able to arrange a few days off work next week and make it to the service. Again my thanks for letting my know and I am so sorry. Kevin I am absolutely devastated to hear about Julia - I just can't believe she is gone. Words will be of little consolation at the moment however please pass on my deepest respects to your parents and brothers, I can't even begin to imagine what you must all be going through as such a close family. Julia was a rock to many people, modest, brave, beautiful and so, so talented. For me Julia's photographs will be a constant memory and inspiration to so many for years to come - You probably suspected this ...but she really was an extraordinarily gifted photographer, as well as friend. I feel very fortunate to have known your sister. Thankyou for letting me know, and if there is anything I can ever do please keep this email address. I will of course be joining the cortege on Tuesday. Yours sincerely Rachel McGuinness This is the saddest news I have had for a long time. I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear that we have lost Julia. No, I had no idea that she had been ill - still less that she had been fighting anything so insidious for so long. Needless to say she was a very bright star in the lives of many of us and you won't need me to tell you how much we shall all miss her. Sadly (and mostly because of the Balkan wars) I had not seen enough of her (or Chris) in the late 1990s but we caught up with each when the Troubadour was sold and I helped her load her gardening things into my Land Rover and she showed me what she was doing with the former pub in the East End. The last email message I had from her was in January last year when she proudly told me how you had sound-proofed her own Land Rover 300 Tdi and was planning to visit us here in Normandy as soon as possible. You may or may not know that I visited The Wool House on a couple of occasions and house-sat for your parents there because Julia knew only too well how much a rather 'shell-shocked' war correspondent needed some peace and quiet... I wish I had been able to offer her the same sort of thing here... You and your parents are presumably being inundated with warm messages remembering Julia with delight and gratitude. Perhaps you would tell Mary and Paul, as well as Miles and Simon, that Julia will live on in the memories of hundreds of us as a lovely, lively and positive influence in all our lives. I shall miss her wicked sense of humour and her practical, down-to-earth common sense. And I'm very sorry she never made it here to our peasant farm in Normandy - a haven of peace and simplicity - which she would have loved... I won't be able to make it the funeral from here in France but I would very much like to see you and your parents when I'm next near Warminster - unless, of course, any of you were ever anywhere near us before then... Marcus, your news is very, very sad. I send my fondest wishes to all of you. I shall always remember Julia as someone I'm very, very glad to have known, through good and bad times alike. She was a lovely, lovely girl as you all know far better than me... Christopher (Chris Long) Laura Knox has just mailed me the details of Julia's funeral. I only really knew Julia through working at Metro where she used to bring her film to be processed but I felt we got along quite well. We got to know each other better through Laura but particularly when she was diagnosed with the cancer as at the same time my boyfriend was terminally ill with the disease. We exchanged numbers and I saw her a few times at the start of her illness but I left Metro when my boyfriend passed away so kind of lost touch. Laura kept me well informed of her progress but as I was dealing with my own grief I felt it too difficult to keep in touch with Julia. Laura assures me she understood this and I hope she did, I don't think I would have been the best source of support for her anyway at that time. Thankfully I have good memories of Julia particularly how she loved to come in Metro and share a dirty joke with us on reception, I think that's a good way to remember her. I will be attending the funeral on Tuesday but would like to send you and your family my deepest sympathy and all my love at this sad time. I know it's an old cliche, and felt it pointless when people said it to me, but time really is a great healer and talking about the time you spent with Julia will keep her memory alive. All my love Charlotte xx Thank you so much for sending this - I had a long talk with Julia in the winter some time and having had no news for a while feared that things were not good. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of bitter grief and pain. Although I did not know Julia well, as you say her warmth and her capacity for friendship shone through right from the start and even though her life has been tragically cut short, I'm sure that her years were as filled with love, excitement and life as they could have been. I remember her telling me how she had looked after a friend of hers who had the HIV virus and it has been a source of inspiration to me as a friend of mine now has it. As for you and me - we did meet a couple of times - in Charlie Wright's bar in Hoxton - where we discovered to our mutual amazement that you had slept in what had been my bedroom in the Landall Mills' house nr. Bradford on Avon. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it on Tuesday but shall certainly be thinking of you. If you're ever down in the Frome area, do give me a call and drop by. May Julia rest in peace. love and light, Ben Will be there on Tuesday of course. I have many memories of Julia, not only as your sister, but as a friend too. She was always friendly, funny and interested in my carrear and often offered advice on who to talk to and always asked how things were progressing. The first time I visited your flats in Shorditch: It was just after you all moved in. I believe that we had one or two drinks and whilst in the pub Marcus suggested that I stayed over with my girlf. Juilia left earlier than us. When I returned to the flats I walked in not only to see a freshly laundered bed but also two washbags inc toothbrushes from a plane. How resourcefull. I felt so welcome (and yes oh so minty fresh). From then on I always remember Julia as kind and generous and I never felt unwelcome at their home. I've jumped around in my tenses a bit as wasn't sure what you were looking for, but I hope I've written somthing that can be included. I don't think I can get in this weekend, but I will let you know. Wishing you and your family well. Rich Thank you for contacting me. May I pass on my sincere condolences regarding this very distressing news which has come as something of a shock to me. I last met Julia a month ago whilst she was walking out with her mother and it seemed there was cause for optimism after what had clearly been a harrowing time for her. I'm deeply saddened to hear that that optimism was misplaced. I suspect that, like many others, my memories of Julia will revolve around the times before her illness when she displayed so much vitality and enthusiasm for life. It was precisely those qualities that made the tragedy that befell her so difficult to absorb. I only hope that your family can take some comfort in the fact that her loss will affect so many, such was her popularity. Unfortunately, I am afraid that I will be unable to attend the service on 10th June but would like to assure you that Julia and the family will be in my thoughts on that day. James Cowdell I hope you are all well under the circumstances. I learnt so much from Julia, I wouldn't be the same person if she hadn't taken me under her wing when I moved to London. I'm proud to have been one of her friends and I shall miss her terribly. I know she's smiling somewhere, probably backstage. Where should I send flowers? Much love Dave and Lucy I was so sorry to hear the news about Julia and would like to extend my deepest sympathies to you all. I didn't know Julia that well - we met a long time ago when we were about 10 as my parents drove my two brothers and me to see your family down in Wiltshire. My mother and your mother went to school together and have kept in touch ever since. I got back in touch with Julia about three years ago. I was working at Macmillan Cancer Relief as a press officer working on the marathon (amongst other projects!) and she very kindly agreed to do the photography for us for the event - stepping into the breach right at the last minute as the photographer we normally used was unable to do the job. Your brother Simon was running the marathon for Macmillan - so it was a bit of a family affair! The pictures were great and we were all really pleased with them - she was a true professional. Julia and I kept in touch on and off after that - via the email and the odd phone call and the last time I saw her was at the Antony Nolan blood donor evening you all organised last year in Shoreditch. This was an amazing event! My abiding memory of Julia is that she was always so positive - something that came through very strongly in the emails that your mother sent me - right from the word go when Julia was first diagnosed, to the last email I had a only few weeks ago. I believe it is a lesson to us all to make the most of life and be positive whatever life throws at us. I only wish I had been able to get to know Julia better. I am so very sorry that the transplant was not a success. Thank you for the invitation to the service. I have spoken to Miles and indicated that I would like to be there and I think my mother will also try and get down from Warwick. With best wishes Kate Many thanks for your email, i will be there on tuesday and would like to join the cortege if appropriate. Your mother asked me to write a few words about Julia which i have added below. Please feel free to edit, there's so much to say but i tried to keep it as short as possible..... Julia was my creative mentor, an inspirational and exceptional teacher, so generous with the knowledge she shared and the encouragement she bestowed. A woman of exquisite taste and considerable talent, she opened my eyes to the beauty in many things, I have so much to thank her for. Julia was also my treasured friend, a joy to be around, someone I deeply loved and respected. She was truly unique in my world and totally irreplaceable. I hold very precious all that she taught me, and the wonderful times we shared. I'll never forget her, she's vivid in my memory and held in my heart. With my warmest regards, Charlotte Baker Wilbraham An update: 27 May 2009, showing how much our dear sister still lives in people's hearts: Subject: RE: Passing Munich and Julia Date: Sunday 10 May 2009 18:08 From: "Derek Beggs" To: mary@xxxxxxxx.net Hi Mary, I hope you don't mind, but I wrote a wee piece about last week on my website, it is very much from the heart, so apologies if it is rather emotional. Of course if you don't want me to have it online, I fully understand and will take it off straight away. It would be wonderful to see you any time, and we will definitely stop by if we are in the area, I have always promised my wife to show her the white horse, and Stonehenge, so maybe next year. Greeting from Germany, Derek Here is what I wrote... Just a thought 07 May 2009 Here is a touching story, which I hope those involved won't mind me sharing. When I was at Art School, we went on a trip to Prague in 1988, or was it 1989, I can't remember. To cut a long story short, I got stuck in an elevator with a girl from London, Julia Hember was her name. We instantly became good friends, and corresponded and met up throughout my time at artschool, but unfortunately lost touch in 1995 when I lost her address. The last time I spoke to her when I was living in Mallorca in 2001, where I learned she had taken up diving and was a professional photographer. As things often happen, I lost her details again, and when I tried to catch up again in 2007, all I found was one of her photos, a portrait of Jeffrey Barnard in the national Portrait gallery. The author of the photo was listed as Julia Hember, 1970 - 2003. Sadly, Julia died in 2003 from what I now know was Leukaemia. It upset me to think that my friend from art school had died without my knowing, particularly Julia, who I used to talk long into the night about art, life and the world, Julia, whom I had visited in London and at her home near Bath where we collaborated on a painting of her grandfather. In her memory, I painted two pictures, one of shadows falling across leaves, called "Julia Hember, I remember the light through your hair was like autumn leaves" and the other, a portrait from memory of her. Both of these paintings you will find on my website. Painting them helped me come to terms with her death, and helped me preserve the memory of my friend. I hoped, that perhaps one day one of her friends or family might one day see them on the internet and be comforted to know that she is not forgotten, and lives on as part of my life through her portrait which now hangs in my hallway, encouraging me to keep painting. It is a lovely thought that the people we touch and influence in our lives can influence so many others after we have gone. Yesterday, I received a touching email from Mary, Julia's mother who asked how it came about that I had a portrait of Julia and I immediately replied with the story above, and some memories of her, her art and her influence on mine. As a memorial to Julia, the family have planted a wood in her name. What a beautiful and fitting tribute, for a beautiful and inspiring woman and it is a memorial to her that I am sure she would have approved of immensely. I remember having a conversation with her in Brixton, London, walking down electric avenue, about all the statues in the city. She said to me ( and I am paraphrasing it to the best of my memory )"The true mark of a life well lived is not the grandeur of the monument or the expense of the memorial as they are simply things built by people which will crumble with time. If you can touch someone's life, influence it for the better, or plant the seed of an idea which helps them grow, that is immortality, that is a far better legacy than any bronze statue", somehow, planting a growing, living wood in her name couldn't have been any more perfect and fitting a tribute to her memory. Emily Dickinson wrote, "Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality." Julia touched my life and influenced it for the better, she planted the seed in me to work as an artist, to keep at it regardless, and in that way I will never forget my friend, nor will she ever be forgotten as part of her influence on me, her encouragement and her determination must be present in all my artworks, how can it not be. This is for you Julia, still miss you. Derek Beggs